Can I just start off by saying our bodies are bad ass. Like, legit machines that do so much shit involuntarily. Our heart pumping blood or our lungs, like, breathing. But they actually go way beyond that. So much more than that. Our bodies have built in filters. Amazing filters. The kidneys and liver- which is the powerhouse filter of the body, might I add- filter so many toxins that come through our body. Guys, our urine is practically STERILE inside our bodies. How the hell does that happen? Fucking FILTERS. So, in an ideal world we would just let our bodies do what they do best. Keep us clean so they can function at the elite level they were designed.
But unfortch, we do not live in that ideal world. Far from it. The foods we eat are causing contaminants, toxins, and heavy metals to wreak havoc on our joints, organs, tissues, cells, and bloodstream. Rude. Our foods are overly processed, covered in pesticides, and genetically modified. So our poor, rockstar bodies are confused as fuck. They don’t know what’s going on and how to even handle it all. It’s overload. They aren’t familiar with what is coming into our body. Our systems are stressed, backed up, and clogged. Our bodies are crying out to us- “Yo, can you help a brother out here?” We need to give them the respect they deserve because, oh I don’t know- they fucking keep us alive. And moving. And functioning- for the most part.
So what do we do? How do we help our bodies? We clean house. We get rid of all the excess baggage lingering inside us. We need to give our body a vacation. It’s crying out for a vacation. You don’t even need to fly it anywhere, you just need to detox. Cleanse.
If that didn’t depress you enough. Here are 7 more reasons:
GUT & COLON
This is actually the most important. VITAL. So listen up.
Death begins in the colon.
If that’s not a wake up call, I don’t know what is. I’m not talking just getting rid of excess fecal matter here. Our gut and colon are extremely important. They digest the food we eat, transfer the nutrition we need to our cells, house all the good bacteria in our body, and support our immune system. These are some pretty big responsibilities. And they are clogged! They are not functioning well with our every day diets. So we really want to detox for these guys. The A Team. The Squad. When we detox, we remove that excess fecal matter I was discussing earlier and as a result of that all the other toxins that were building up get removed. We are unplugging and letting it all detoxify out of us. Now we can build up more good bacteria and fully support our immune system, firing on all cylinders.
This is one of the primary reasons people want to detox and cleanse. And it’s for a very good reason. When we are cleaning our system out, we are also freeing ourselves from processed foods that put on extra weight. Our bodies don’t have to take the extra time trying to figure out what to do with malodextrin, backing everything else up and slowing our metabolism. Our bodies can process an organic apple just fine. Just don’t fall into the trap of “water weight”. You should be drinking lots of water on your detox. Also try to look for a detox that has a supplement which supports your muscles. This way you burn fat instead of muscle weight. When your body can’t burn muscle, it burns fat. And with that burning fat leaves all the toxins stored in the fat over time. Yea, that Taco Bell Chalupa you had in September could very well be sitting in your thigh fat. I will be honest and say that I don’t think your only reason for detoxing should be weight loss. You also have to be committed to wanting to get your body in a better state. Detoxing can be a tough mental battle, so if you’re only focused on lbs lost you may be setting yourself up for failure.
I’m going to tread a little lightly here. I’m not talking full blown heroin or alcohol addictions here. Those need a lot more serious support before you decide to detox your body nutritionally. I’m talking about those of you who are drinking 4 cups of coffee or 5 cans of coke a day, or are hiding in the pantry eating cheez-its by the boxful, or having a twinkie for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. These are our “addictions”, those things we can’t go a day without. These are the things a detox can help us minimize or most likely even eliminate. We rely so much on processed foods that we don’t even realize we are “addicted” to it. When we give ourselves the proper detox, we see how our bodies “withdraw”. It’s not pretty. Or fun. But it’s life changing. The first 3 days are usually the roughest, by day 5 you’re getting less cray-cray, and after day 10 you could be completely free. These are both mental and physical benefits from detox. Which is why they are the mother effin’ toughest.
This one I can fully attest to. I never really had BAD skin, but after a few days of detoxing I had the skin of a fully airbrushed Victoria’s Secret Angel. Food highly effects the quality of our skin. Our skin is its own organ. Like, yea- a whole organ. The largest one, at that. You don’t need to invest in all those lotions and potions to see your skin clear up. Our skin actually soaks up the oils in what we are eating. Out livers and digestive system directly effect the oils in our skin as well. If our adrenals are out of whack, they can irritate sensitive skin and cause redness, spots, and blemishes. Detoxing helps clean out these systems and in turn completely change the function of our skin as an organ.
Did you know that detoxing helps us sleep? Did you know that while sleeping our body detoxes 10x faster? Yay for naps. Yay for sleeping. Let’s get in that big comfy bed and snooze away. Toxic and processed foods actually cause stress on our body. This prevents us from getting to sleep easily and furthermore getting an actual good night’s sleep. When we eliminate these foods, we are causing A LOT less stress in our system allowing us to find peace much easier. Some detoxes even have a relaxing, before bed product that aids in the sleep process. (And no, I’m not talking Ambien or Zzzquil).
Sometimes we don’t even realize how much un-clarity we are functioning with on a daily basis. Taking the time to detox your body will show you very quickly how fuzzy headed you’ve become. Since our bodies are stressed trying to recognize, process, filter everything we are putting into our bodies it is sending all sorts of mixed messages to our brains. Our nerves are jumping around, anxiety is getting stimulated, worry and fear start creeping in. It’s a big ol’ hot mess up in there. No bueno. No fucking bueno. Once we eliminate the sugar and chemicals which are causing our “brain fog” we begin to feel so much clearer (is clearer a word? The more I stare at it the weirder it becomes. Ok, moving on.)
Ok so this is my ultimate, come to Jesus reason for cleansing. How long have our bodies not been functioning at the level they should be? How long have we been letting our minds tell us what we should be eating? Instead of our bodies telling us what we want. If we aren’t hungry enough to eat an apple, then you most likely don’t need that Twix bar- ya feel me? Same goes for thirst, if you aren’t thirsty enough to drink a glass of water, that diet coke can wait. Actually throw that shit out. Don’t put it away for later. It’s time to clear and clean our systems. Let our bodies take a vacation from processing crap and get back into full working order. All of a sudden on day 7 you’ll see a piece of cake and say “Ew, I can’t even imagine putting THAT in my body.” You’ll be one of those health snobs sneering at the fried onion rings being housed by the table next to you at a restaurant. That’s because you and your body are Bro’s again. Bromance. Bromantic. Bromeo and Juliet. I could keep going, but you get it. Resetting your body can put you on a whole new trajectory, and that’s just fucking fantastic.
So that’s what I got for you guys. Actually, I have a few more IMPORTANT things to add to this:
DO YOUR FUCKING RESEARCH. Don’t buy into a cleanse that has you drinking maple syrup and lemon water all day. You may lose weight, but that won’t matter because you’ll most likely want to throw yourself out a window. Also, don’t buy into the cleanses that somehow also include processed foods. Like, this detox includes a box of chocolate treats I can eat at night. No, just no. Unless you went to the farm, harvested the cocoa, made it into a powder, mixed it with organic coconut oil and made your own piece of chocolate- you’re not having a chocolate treat. Also make sure you’re healthy enough, check with your doctor if you have any conditions.
PREPARE. Make sure you have your days planned out. I’ve seen detoxes that last anywhere from 3-12 days, so make sure you have your meals planned out and food bought for the most part. Do not, I REPEAT DO NOT go shopping on day 2 pale & shaking in the midst of a sugar withdrawal. People will be very concerned for your well being as you sing sad love songs to the bags of candy in aisle 6. Just prepare.
SUPPORT. Try to find someone you can either do this with or that has already done it to help you. It gets rough and dark at times, but having someone nudge us along or telling us that we will make it through the night without hurting a loved one is reassuring.
PLAN POST DETOX. This is pretty important. You will most likely feel like a million bucks on your last day. Like, nothing can stop me now bitches! Then you wake up the next morning lost and sad and confused about your identity. Who am I without this detox? Where do I go? What do I eat? Don’t let that be you. A good program has a follow up program in place, so see what the next steps will be before the last day. Prepare for those and a whole new outlook on your wellness.
Confession: I’ve been thinking about Twinkies since I typed it a few paragraphs earlier. Think that means I’m most likely due for another cleanse.
I am happy to give you any information on the 10 Day Cleanse I coach. No strings attached. I don’t pressure or force anything on anyone. Sometimes they are not for everyone and I genuinely try to make sure it’s the perfect match. You can read more about it here and also reach out to me here.